And so we pretend…cause that’s what we’re good at. We pretend everything is fine, that we’re OKAY and that everything is back to normal. We smile at the people around us, laugh with them or whatever to convince them that we don’t have any problems and that we’re happy. But no matter how much we pretend, we can never fool ourselves. At the end of the day, when we’re all alone, we feel the void inside us. We know that everything is NOT fine and that we can never be genuinely happy again. We will never be how we were back then and it frustrates me. Why do we have to pretend? Why not end it here and search for a different happiness somewhere else? Why go through all the pain and misery when we have a different option? Is the opinion of society more important than how we feel? Why are we so scared of what others might think if they find out about our predicament? It’s our lives, so why can’t we live it the way we want it?
I want to let go but I can’t..because you’re holding back . You’ve managed to wrap your strings around me and I can’t break free. I have no choice but to stand still because I don’t have the authority to oppose. I can’t tell you what I feel because nothing I say matters. You have to have the last word. So for now, all I can do is hope, that a slice of miracle will be spared to us and maybe one day, we will be genuinely happy again.
Our problems might be big but no matter how huge it is, we must keep in mind that we have a bigger God. These problems are merely tests that are thrown upon us to see how strong we are as individuals and as children of God. Today, I encountered a lot of problems but I know God has a plan for me. I know that these things happened for a good reason. So right now, all I can do is pray because I believe in HIM and I trust HIS plans for me.